


it starts with a touch

by aerials



Series: it's always been you [2]
Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-07 04:35:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8783374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerials/pseuds/aerials
Summary: Thus begins a string of moments when Lukas touches Philip and the brunette is pretty sure his heart just about stops in his chest





	

 

Philip is certain that the first time it happens it's a total accident. Lukas had kept true to his promise that they could hang out at school, once the blonde had recovered from his injuries and started attending again. Their relationship was still technically a secret, Philip wasn't in a position to pressure Lukas into throwing himself out of the closet, not after everything they'd gone through, he was just grateful for the small progresses the other made at being better with him. Rose, surprisingly, wasn't a problem. Though she knew and had expressed it to both boys while Lukas was still in the hospital, she had become kind of a safety beacon for the pair of them - especially for Philip. If anyone dared say anything out of turn, with Lukas nowhere to be found, Rose was the first to speak up and people listened to her because though she was the sweetest girl in the world, she could be damn scary. Philip kind of loved that she used that for good, in a way. To make his life easier.

Come lunch time, Philip is always sat down before Lukas, despite the fact the blonde brings his own lunch and Philip has to buy his in the cafeteria, he always comes pottering in once everyone else is sat down together. Rose posted at one side of Philip, engaging with him so he feels like he's part of the group and Lukas thinks that she's a god send, since he did hide a pretty big secret from her, her support didn't go amiss at all with him and he couldn't help but think that she deserved the freaking world, just as Philip did. Lukas was still trying to figure out how he could ever possibly give that to him when he still struggled to be affectionate in public. 

There's an air of confidence around Lukas that was prevalent at school, he was kind of a popular kid and it showed in the way he sat, leaning back as if he owned the place. This was how it always was before Philip walked into his life, where Lukas started to feel like he wasn't so cool after all because he was damn sure the first time he saw Philip that the brunette was fucking glowing and that was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. He'd never admit that, or how that was the day his entire world changed and that in the instant that Philip even looked his way, a mere glance, Lukas began to question everything about himself as if he never knew himself at all.

Lukas flings his lunch onto the table, greeting everyone collectively and Philip notices the cheery mood that Lukas is in. He can't help but smile, he hated to think it but he'd grown rather accustomed to seeing Lukas truly miserable and the blonde still had his bad days, when his sleep was ridden with terrible nightmares or he saw or smelled something that was too eerily familiar to all those horrific events. Today, though, Lukas seems happy and that makes Philip happy, especially when Lukas is turning to him to greet him individually. "Hey, you wanna come film my practice later?" Lukas asks, there's a hopeful kind of expression on his face and his lower lip is tugged between his lips and really, there's no way that Philip could say no to that face anyway and then - then Lukas' hand is on his thigh and Philip jumps just slightly from the unexpected contact, looking dead at Lukas who seems unfazed by the action, or the fact he's doing it in front of his friends. Thus begins a string of moments when Lukas touches Philip and the brunette is pretty sure his heart just about stops in his chest, where he has to remind himself how to breath because this is Lukas, someone who never wanted them to talk to one another in public and now here they were.

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

 

The second time is at a party, where Philip is sure the only reason it happens is because everyone else around them is too drunk and because Philip is on the verge of an anxiety attack. It wasn't even something that Philip wanted to go to anyway, house parties in Tivoli were a cesspool of cool kids that looked at Philip as if he was an alien and Lukas had to practically beg Philip to join him, even dropping the word 'date' as a way to coax him into going.

"You really want our first date to be at a party, surrounded by your drunk friends?" Philip asks, not convinced in the slightest but if he's learned anything in the time he's known Lukas, it's that Lukas usually has an answer for everything. Typically that answer is wrong and Philip usually has to stop himself from rolling his eyes so hard they get stuck at the back of his head but this time? This time he can't really argue.

"I thought our first date was in the city?" Lukas is so quick to shoot it back that Philip almost chokes on the water he's drinking, not expecting to hear that Lukas thought their city venture was a date - where they stayed out all night, exploring some of Philip's favourite spots and how they kissed in public for the first time, in front of total strangers. So, though still with some reluctance, Philip agrees and, due to Lukas' comment about the city making for a little distraction, the pair show up much later than originally intended. Not that he cares, being early to a party isn't 'cool' anyway and the pair of them tend to make the most of the rare times when one of their homes are totally empty for at least a few hours.

Though any joy from their earlier intimate interaction fades as they walk up to the house and Philip is suddenly left feeling rather apprehensive about the whole event. There are too many people dotted around on the lawn, across the decking out front of the house and Philip is sure that he'll feel like he's drowning if he moves inside and loses sight of Lukas, moving among a lot of people who he doesn't really know and who he's sure still don't really like him. His eyes dart around, his mind taken back to the last time he attended one of these parties and how hostile Lukas had been, how hostile everyone had been and he wasn't sure he could remember what he was pelted with as he headed away only that people were yelling and balls of something were flying past his eyes.

Philip had been so preoccupied by waiting for something bad to happen that he'd fallen behind Lukas, who turned as he reached the steps up to the house wondering why Philip had disappeared from his side. In seconds Lukas is in front of him and he's asking something but everything sounds like Philip is underwater and it takes him a few moments to shake out of it. It takes Lukas' forehead resting against his own and the hands on his arms, moving up to his shoulders where the gentle squeeze pulls Philip from his reverie of pure dread, to focusing on the blonde in front of him. Lukas looks worried and Philip just smiles, getting so caught up in the moment - finding that when he was with Lukas the whole world would just fall away, leaving the pair of them alone. He doesn't remember at first why he was ever so scared, then it hits, Lukas is touching him, in public - not under a table at school, not in front of strangers but in front of people he knows, practically their whole grade by the looks of it and he instantly begins to worry about Lukas.

"You're touching me, people are going to see," Philip whispers and he's not even sure if Lukas catches it considering how loud the music is, pouring out of every open window and following people out of the door as more pour onto the lawn. Honestly he's surprised that the neighbours haven't complained yet, he's half expecting Helen to show up in full gear ready to send everyone home. But Lukas doesn't care about the music, or that he's doing something that Philip was sure he was against. It was a constant battle of thinking he knew Lukas better than anyone, only for the blonde to surprise him, warming his heart, and Philip makes a mental note of the change in Lukas so he can add it to the list of things he loves about him.

"So?" Lukas starts, giving a slight shrug as he moves to stand at the side of Philip and Philip damn near has a heart attack when Lukas slings an arm around his shoulders, placing a hand on his arm and squeezing gently as a silent reassurance that everything is okay, as he begins to walk them up toward the house. It is welcomed and Philip does feel safer with Lukas so close but he can't help but feel like everyone's eyes are on them. "We're good, I'm not gonna let anyone do or say anything to you, I promise."

Philip would never be able to understand how, or when, Lukas gained this ability to just know what was going on in his mind. Like the other had developed a sixth sense for all things Philip and it helped to make the brunette feel so completely at ease. 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

 

A week later and Lukas is revving up for his first competition since his initial visit from Trevy Tools. Surprisingly, they had been pretty understanding and an endorsement was still on the cards. Lukas had tried his best not to get too much in his head, spending most of his days practicing with Philip on the side lines cheering him on and recording more of his tricks for his showreel. Still he was wracked with nerves, though he'd eased back into riding his bike quite quickly again and had expanded his range of tricks too, this was a huge competition. The pressure was all too real, if he were to miss his timing for a trick by even a second that could mean certain disaster.

Just as Lukas began to looked terrified at the mere thought of ruining his career in motor cross, there is Philip to ease his worries just with a damn smile. He was always there at the perfect time, armed with a caring sentiment or two and Lukas was sure that he was an angel of sorts. A saviour or guardian and he was sure there was some sort of rule against dating ethereal beings but as of late he was ever for rule breaking. Luckily, he'd managed to swing the brunette a little extra access as part of his official team - which was really only his dad as a manager and Philip, his cameraman - and it made him feel better, seeing Philip, knowing that he'd be right there the whole way down to the finish line. It was true that Philip was Lukas' biggest fan, he'd never really cared for motor cross at all, in fact he'd never even known what it was until he met the taller boy with such a talent for it, but it was safe to say he was now all about it. At least where Lukas was concerned.

"You ready? You're gonna do great," Philip assured, passing Lukas his helmet and Philip had to resist the urge to plant a kiss on the others lips as a way to relax him some, ready for his big break. However with Bo standing mere feet away and Philip a little unsure as to whether Lukas had told his dad about them yet, he betted against the kiss to avoid making any kind of scene when the other needed his head straight. Lukas simply nodded in response, still somewhat shaken but better overall thanks to Philip and then there's that smile. As if Philip could seem any more angelic than he already thought he was, he goes ahead and smiles. The kind that shines so bright it makes dull old Tivoli look like a picture perfect place to be.

Then Philip is gone and Lukas just has to remember that in moments, his ride will be over and Philip will be there again. He thinks how important the other is and how, despite all they've been through, he's stayed as a constant in Lukas' life. Been supportive, even when Lukas has been less than so, helped him out so entirely and Lukas can't help but wonder how he managed to keep someone he didn't feel he deserved. Shoving his helmet on, Lukas starts up his bike and makes his way to the starting point, in his head he goes over the tricks as a routine, making sure he has them all down for each jump and as he looks to his side, he sees Philip there, camera in hand, thumb raised in approval. In that second alone he decides he's ready, if not for anyone else than Philip and maybe it's silly to hold such a desire to impress him but Lukas doesn't care.

That specific goal doesn't go unnoticed, though Philip is trying os hardest to concentrate so he can get the best footage possible, his hands steady as a rock while he follows Lukas as quickly as possible down the track, he can't help but be totally blown away by how far Lukas has come as a rider. Not only that, just how far he'd come since all that had happened with Kane, he remembered how scared Lukas had been to get back on a bike and yet there he was, killing every trick like a pro from the big leagues. Everything else seemed small, the fact that Lukas hadn't come out yet didn't matter because everything was good - Lukas was bursting with talent, Philip too really, they had a good friend group together and their relationship, though secret, was stronger than it ever was. Philip couldn't help but think that he was happier than he'd ever been, right then as he watched Lukas cross the finish line with the roar of a crowd behind him.

Everything after is a rush, there is a flurry of people rushing past when Lukas is announced the champion once again and Philip is jumping for joy on the sidelines with Helen and Gabe. There's an overwhelming sense of pride as he watches the happiness in Lukas' face from winning, that all his hard work had paid off, like everything they'd gone through had been worth it to get to such a good point. Though Lukas isn't as thrilled as he seems, sure he's elated with the win and all the attention, with being approached by a Trevy Tools representative again but his eyes scan the crowd for the one person he wants to celebrate with - Philip Shea. They find him, of course and Philip is quite surprised by how quickly Lukas comes up to him when he knows they'll have their chance to celebrate in private later. That's more than enough for Philip, he doesn't need the public displays.

"Dude, congrats! You were, god, you were great and I got some awesome footage you should see some of this stuff-" Philip cuts himself off, acting like the pair of them are just good friends. No pet names or affectionate words while they were in public, he'd come to learn not to just to avoid any upset and he looked down at his phone as he went about finding the video to show Lukas what he'd caught. But Lukas doesn't want to see, not yet anyway, he's just won and the one person he wants to share that moment with is right in front of him - regardless of all the crowds, regardless of his father standing there and a sponsor standing right beside him. Lukas realises that if he's going to make it big in motor cross, then there is no way he is willing to do it without the one person who motivates him the best right at his side the whole way.

"Philip," Lukas starts, placing a hand on his arm and bending his body slightly to try and catch Philip's gaze. It works and Philip looks slightly stunned, sort of like a deer in headlights, to have the others hand on him. Of course that feeling is only enhanced when Lukas is taking his face into his hands and kissing him so sweetly, those ones they share at the end of the night, when Lukas has to make his way home for dinner and to sleep, they're always a promise of something more and yet are filled so entirely with the love they have for one another. It's shocking at first but Philip reacts positively, his hands tugging at the sides of Lukas' jersey. 

"I just wanted to tell you," Lukas mutters, a little breathless as he brushes his nose against Philip's and finally pulls back just slightly. There's still a rush of commotion that Lukas is sure that nobody would have noticed or cared, except maybe his dad and a couple of their friends but they would have found out eventually. Why not now? "I got the sponsorship."

Philip is totally taken aback, he can't grasp the fact that Lukas has kissed him in public let alone that he's gotten the sponsorship he was so desperate for. He's not sure how to react, of course he's bursting with pride for the blonde but he's also overwhelmed by the way his heart is beating so fast beneath his ribs, like it could break out at any moment, he can't speak. What would he even say? "You kissed me," He says finally and Lukas has to laugh at how familiar that line sounds, just like when they were in the city together. "I'm so proud of you but you kissed me, in front of everybody."

"Yeah, well I can't be a champion without my cheerleader," Lukas states, waving his arms around like he has a pom-pom in each of them and Philip really does try to fight the urge to roll his eyes, though the urge wins out. On this occasion though, he'll let the ridiculous things that Lukas says slide, it's the least he can do considering the other has practically thrown his identity out in the open on the day he's won a championship. After all, Philip has plenty of time to hold his cheesy comments against him once they're away from the crowds and really, that was never something he could resist.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a trainwreck, forgive me. I'll have a better update in the next story, I promise. You can blame the terrible toothache I've had today.


End file.
